A Little Nostalgia Never Hurt Anyone
by impersonatingadeity
Summary: HSLO. Han ruminates over his life with the Rebellion and how it has changed him. Set to the song 'Needs' by Collective Soul. My first 'long story,' whose future existence is currently being questioned.
1. Everything Costs Too Much

Disclaimer: I own nothing. No money has been made from this piece. Send all your thanks to George Lucas.

Each quote is meant to preface the current setting. The following text will proceed from there.

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A Little Nostalgia Never Hurt Anyone**

_All around me, I see what weakness has made.  
Too much tomorrow,  
I think I'll take all today._

"Sorry for the mess."

- - -

I was in a real hurry; I didn't have time to sit around and chit-chat. I'm Han Solo for the God's sakes! I have an agenda! My time ain't for the givin'! Everything costs too much these days.

But fifteen thousand once we reached Alderaan…that made spending my time worthwhile. The farmboy even had to sell his speeder to give me an' Chewie the up-front payment.

Look, I know what you're thinkin'. How could I take all that from a naïve kid and a demure old man? (Hey, looky there, weren't those big words?). Well, look sister, we all gotta make a livin' alright? Plus it was too good to pass up.

_Am I a poison?__  
Am I a thorn in the side?  
Am I a picture-perfect subject tonight?_

"Into the garbage shoot, flyboy!"

- - -

I couldn't have felt more useless. I can't believe this is how I'm going to die. Should've gotten the credits from the old man when I had the chance.

Jabba's never gonna get the money. Well, it won't matter in a few minutes anyway.

Well, I gotta admit, I'm kinda likin' myself in this hero persona. It suits a guy like me.

But, kreth, I've never met a woman I didn't like! How'm I supposed to know how to act around a princess? She doesn't know me. She doesn't know anything about me. Still, Han Solo doesn't give up that easily. She'll come around.

The kid didn't like that idea at all.

_And I don't need nobody.__  
I don't need the weight of words to find a way to crash on through.  
I don't need nobody.  
I just need to learn the depth or doubt of faith to fall into._

"Great shot, kid. That was one in a million!"

- - -

For the first time I was part of something. Kest, I did something _right_. I helped someone else. Now look, I ain't goin' soft on ya. Just sayin'.

Now don't tell Her Worship this, but I'm thinkin' of stickin' around for a bit. I mean, without me we'd all be bouncing off into the Outer Rim right about now, see? I need to see what happens next.

_And the fanfare played; tribute to the lost, comfort to bereft, anthem of heroes. The troops lined up, little gray rows like banks to a shore. One sauntered, one tentatively approached, and one pounded down the center aisle toward the beauty in white. _

_Lightning struck sand and glass ignited. And the medals represented a change in one spacer, as he began to follow a similar path with a princess.  
_

_

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Critiques welcome! This will probably undergo some heavy editing later, but I wanted to get this idea down before I drifted off to sleep. Update coming soon!

:)


	2. Thank You

**A Little Nostalgia Never Hurt Anyone - Chapter 2**

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_Here I slumber to awaken my daze  
I find convenience in this savior I save_

"Come on. You want me to stay because of the way you feel about me."

* * *

She was so strong. Too strong. I never knew someone like her could break.

But I could see it in her eyes. She needed me. And I think maybe I needed her too.

But I couldn't stay; I had a debt to pay off. Plus, she'd be a lot safer without me around. (Would she really?) If I hadn't been there with her on Ord Mantell… well, I'd rather not relive that. And neither would she.

After all, I'm like a naked Jawa runnin' around; anyone could recognize me and just take a crack at me. That is, if they could beat me to the draw.

But I hate to leave her. I mean, kest, her whole _world_ was taken from her. The family she loved and all the things she cherished were gone in less than an instant. Reminds me of someone else I know.

Still, she hid all her pain, all her grief, all her sorrow behind a clogged dam: the stoic senatorial mask and white gown. Until one night.

We were still on Yavin; right after the victory celebration.

* * *

_After mingling with the High Command, sharing a few drinks with the pilots, and congratulating Luke, Leia couldn't stand it anymore. Her dam was spouting leaks. She had to get away. No one could see their fearless leader break down following such a triumph._

_Picking up her half-empty cup, she started for the doors. Please, Solo, let me get away this once. As an afterthought, she realized she hadn't seen him all night.  
_

"Yeah,"_ said a mechanic from Bay 6 to his companion, _"I thought you'd like it! Shipped straight off Alderaan, well, before, you know..."

_Leia froze. The glass slipped from her hand and flailed toward the ground as if in slow motion. It shattered, sending shards tearing into her heart.  
_

_The room quieted. Everyone paused, turned, and looked in her direction. Leia fled into the adjoining corridor, feeling ashamed that such a display was seen by everyone on base._

_Since she was bred to be a senator from her childhood, Leia was comfortable having an audience, but no amount of speeches, appearances, or diplomatic meetings prepared her for this. She was not unused to tragedies, but nothing compared to the upwelling of emotions filling her, suffocating her soul.  
_

_Leia staggered down the hallway. She felt as though she was dying, and her arm instinctively shot out to steady her trembling body as she half-crouched against the wall, hugging herself and still refusing to let it all go. Shaking, she put her back to the wall, slid down to the floor, and put her head in her hands. But even the wall could not support her grief, and slowly she curled into a ball on the floor and squeezed her eyes shut. She felt so empty, as though nothing could ever make her feel again. She was numb._

"Easy up, sweetheart. Let's go." _Han squatted and put a hand on her arm, which was twisted awkwardly beneath her chin._

"Han? Han!" _Her last syllable ended in a wail. The dam cracked and the floodgates opened and Leia finally let the tears fall. At Han's touch, the empty feeling dissipated, but only a little._

"Yeah, princess. It's me." _He shifted her onto her back. When he received no protest, he placed one arm beneath her knees and the other beneath her shoulder blades, lifting her up into his arms. He started for her quarters, hoping to save her somehow._

"No, no! Put me down please. They saw everything! No, no!" _Rapidly, Leia's mind shifted gears. _"They're all gone! Everybody's gone!" _She clung to him, and despite her earlier words, she didn't want him to let her go.  
_

"Shh, Leia. I know. You're okay, sweetheart," _he whispered into her hair._ _Sooner than Han would have cared to admit, they had reached her rooms. Han gently took Leia's palm to place it on the entry scanner, but she flinched away and wriggled out of his hold. After palming the door open herself, she hurried inside, leaving him alone to stare at the harsh grey door on the outside._

I remember standin' there in shock. I mean, I just carried her all the way to her rooms, and what? No gratitude? _Fine, whatever. See if I ever help her again_, I remember thinking.

_Han started off feeling just a little hurt. Suddenly he heard a small squeak, and turned around to find red-rimmed eyes and smudged mascara staring back at him. Then Leia was running at him. Stunned, he caught her when she reached him. He held her close to him, hoping, praying that she would open up to him. She shuddered heavily and returned his embrace tentatively. He moved his arm up and down her back, gently soothing her. _

_Her soft crying stopped. She stepped away and swiped at her nose and mouth with the back of her thumb, nodded, and started back for the door, mumbling to herself all the while. Han held back a frustrated sigh.  
_

_As if sensing it, Leia slowly shifted around to face him and averted her gaze for a moment. Then, gathering her courage, her glassy eyes met his as she whispered, almost imperceptibly,_

"Thank you."

I've never forgotten that night, and I know her highnessness hasn't either. And ya know what? I can show a little respect once in a while, so I never mention it. I'm just that kind of guy.


	3. Be Strong for Me

**A Little Nostalgia Never Hurt Anyone - Chapter 3**

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_I don't need nobody  
I don't need the weight of words to find a way to crash on through_

"We would be honored if you would join us."

* * *

There he was-- that sick, twisted bastard who tortured the woman holding my hand tightly: my princess. I tried to imagine the irony of it all. We barely escaped off of Hoth away from Vader only to end up back in his reaches again. Leia showed no fear, no reticence, so I followed her lead. She had been through so much for someone so young, but the dam was rebuilt and the leaks cemented. This I was glad to see. She looked so regal in this role; I couldn't help but admire her for it. I squeezed her hand as we were both led away by storm troopers and into our cell.

It was hours before someone came in. Leia and I sat on the floor and leaned against the wall while Chewie tried to fix Threepio. She rested her head on my shoulder and I draped my arm around her, a mockery of our state during the late-night chats on the _Falcon _as we slowly limped to Bespin. Now, unlike then, neither of us was much for conversation. We were just too caught up in our own thoughts, I guess

Frustrated, Chewie let out a mournful howl. Was it at our situation or at Threepio? Both, I'm guessin'.

Anyways, I'm gettin' sidetracked. Vader came in to our concrete block after an hour or two, and it seemed he had plans for us. Shocked, I watched helplessly as the royal and unflinching princess, senator, and rebel leader's defenses fell away and left only a poor girl too tired to carry on.

Leia wasn't herself. She hid her face from Vader, burying it into my shoulder. She scooted closer to me and I lightly jostled her, hopin' to stir up the famous Organa fighting spirit. Leia didn't lift her head.

Vader wasn't a patient man. (Machine?)

"Enough, Your Highness." Leia didn't look at him.

Vader motioned to his accompanying guards, "Take him away." They moved to seize me, but Leia jumped up suddenly.

"No! You've taken everything away from me! Just take me!" Leia stumbled to the side but regained her balance.

"That will be impossible." Very short and concise, this sith. It's one of an encyclopedia of things I don't like about him.

"Please, I ---"

I rose. "Leia, no. I won't let you do this. You're strong, sweetheart. Be strong for me." (Was I only trying to convince myself?)

Leia took my command as a last request. Kreth, I didn't know if I was gonna die or what, but I would not let her give herself up too.

Leia nodded and the corners of her eyes crinkled up, but a frown marred her beautiful face.

_I don't need nobody  
I just need to learn the depth or doubt of faith to fall into._

"Chewie! This won't help me. Save your strength. There'll be another time."

* * *

Well, I knew my gambling instincts were right. This was it. I was finally leaving her.

And this was the only time I didn't want to. Strike another tally down under irony, would ya? Thanks.

This time, though, I didn't know when, _if_, I'd be back. And that scared me more than that black-masked more mechanical-than-human sith standing not far off.

I admired my friend's loyalty that I knew was only partially due to his life-debt. Now that I was going, (dying?), I wanted to know that Leia would be safe. Without _me_.

That final, too-short kiss is my last memory. Oh yeah, and something else:

"I love you."

"I know."

* * *

Thanks for reading! Please review so I can make it better!


	4. Did We Just Do That?

**A Little Nostalgia Never Hurt Anyone - Chapter 4**

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_In this time of substitute  
It's my needs I've answered to (All the while)_

"Get the gun. Point it at the deck!"

* * *

As I sat up and stretched my sore ribs, I heard a thud of booted feet and a muffled grunt. Thanks to my friend Lord Vader, I still couldn't see. It's like there's a Tatooine sandstorm blowin' and I was caught in it. I pressed the heels of my hands to my eye sockets, hoping the pressure would help ease the pain in my skull. What it would help, I didn't know, but I needed to be doing _something_. After the carbonite, I didn't want to stop moving. I got all jittery and stuff, see, because bein' in that stuff is really similar to bein' six feet under. The very idea of me moving, _breathing, _was novel again, like a baby who just figured out how to walk.

Six months, they told me. Six months I was out. The thought heightened my nerves. Six months was enough time for Leia to find someone else; Luke, maybe. I assumed that was who she was with at the moment. Plus, the kid's a Jedi knight now, or somethin'. How'm I supposed to compete with that?

My train of thought was cut short as I felt someone pull me to my feet.

"Chewie?"

**Yes, cub, it is me.**

"Where are we? Have we stopped?" I hated asking all those kriffing questions. I gotta see stuff for myself. I've relied on quick instincts and my own two eyes for survival my whole life, and not bein' able to use them made me feel insignificant.

**We have reached General Kenobi's old house. We are going inside now.**

Pushing Chewie's arms off me, I stumbled out of the skiff and almost tumbled into the sand.

Lando steadied me. "Easy old buddy, you're not up for moving around on your own yet."

I wrenched myself from Lando's grasp. I had forgiven him and all, but I just wanted to get inside. I stopped for a second to realize I hadn't seen (or heard or felt) Leia yet. I bet Luke was takin' care of her. I still had no clue what happened to her at Jabba's, but I intended to find out.

Belatedly I realized I had no idea where the entrance was. My pride plummeted as I waited for someone to help me in.

I heard a door slide open. "Master Luke, I must protest! I had no notion of---"

Unfortunately, since I was still blind, my hearing was only elevated. Oh, fantastic.

"Hey, Han."

"Luke." It wasn't a question so much as an acknowledgement.

"Come on inside." He went behind me and steered me through the door into a small room.

"Where's Leia?"

"Oh, she wanted to get out of her costume." He recognized the pure anger on my face as I put together what had happened to Leia. I knew Jabba. "Han, no, it wasn't ---"

"I'm gonna kill him!"

"Too late, hotshot."

I spun away from Luke to the direction of the voice of Princess Leia. "Sweetheart? 'That you?" I scratched my head in frustration. I still couldn't see her!

The response to my question was a thin pair of arms wrapping around my waist and a delicate face pressed into my chest. _Leia. _

"You're back." She whispered, and hugged me tighter. "Oh, I'm so happy to see you again."

Forgetting Luke, I cupped her face in my hands and bent to kiss her; she returned it with a fervor that been pent up for months. It felt so good to hold her again, to kiss her like this again. I moved my hands down around her waist and continued to kiss her slowly, sweetly, savoring our reunion.

Leia pulled away first but didn't let go of me. I sighed.

"Wish, I could say the same." I said dejectedly. "So, the old slug's dead?"

"Sure is, flyboy."

"Han, she killed him with her chain." Hm, I had almost forgotten that the kid was still in the room.

_Way to go, sweetheart. Somehow I knew you'd rope me into staying with your rebellion yourself._

"Let's get you cleaned up now, huh?" Leia asked pointedly. She kissed me quickly and then pulled out of my embrace.

A smug grin swept across my face. I couldn't resist winkin' in Luke's general direction.

"Sure." I let hear lead me by the hand away into an adjoining room. "See ya later, Luke."

_And the hope that I invest  
Still turns to signals of distress (All the while)_

"General, count me in."

* * *

My pride jettisoned as I heard Leia speak those words. Ever since Tatooine her support for me had never wavered. I felt ashamed at what she had had to endure for the past few days: rumors, sidelong glances, and furtive whispers followed her wherever she went.

She was seated a little too far away from me for my own liking, and she didn't help any by hugging Luke.

* * *

_Han and Leia walked hand in hand around the _Home One_, grateful for a few moments to be alone together. Han paused for a moment when they reached a transparisteel viewport overlooking the stars_. _Leia went forward, still holding Han's hand, but Han tugged her around into his arms. _

"Hey, sweetheart."

"Hello, Han." _She giggled a little bit, then moved to pull away, but Han wouldn't let her. He started to kiss her neck, then moved up to her jaw and chin. Forgetting their public venue, Leia responded eagerly, untucking Han's shirt and seeking the heat of his skin. Han's hands began to explore her body. Finally their lips met and fires ignited. Their kiss deepened and both acknowledged the mutual love and passion they had for the other. A nearby gasp and a stifled giggle broke them apart. Leia's eyes widened. Han turned to see a small pink-skinned Twi'lek girl standing near the adjacent viewport. He glared at her and she scurried away._

"Did we just do that?" _Leia's head was down and she was finishing straightening out her gown, cheeks flushed slightly. The area where they stood was obviously not particularly private, so there was no telling how many other beings had more _discreetly_ walked past._

_Han began to tuck his shirt back in and grinned at her._ "Sure we did."

_Leia didn't respond. Han moved over to her, taking her hand_. "I don't care who saw!" _In fact, he rather liked the idea. He was proud of his once-ice princess for letting him touch her, hold her hand, and "politely" kiss her in public. He had missed her desperately during those six months of seclusion and had vowed never to take any moment with her for granted ever again. They had waited for so long to get to this point in their relationship after having wasted so much time arguing. Even so, he enjoyed showing his attachment to her in any manner._

"You don't? Well…" _She looked down again._ _Han mistook her reaction for embarrassment._

"Leia, look…I'm sorry."

_She raised her head abruptly, but on her face was a look of mischief. _

"I'm not!" _Tugging on his hand, she laughed loudly and they continued on their way to her quarters. She was always surprising him.  
_

_Both of them couldn't keep their eyes off of the other. When they reached her door, Leia raised her eyes shyly. Not noticing her newly timid demeanor, Han kissed her forehead, murmured a "'Night, princess," and turned to walk in the opposite direction._

"Han, wait!" _After the carbonite, she didn't like the thought of being without him. He turned back to her with a patient look on his face.  
_

"Stay… Please?"

_Han walked over and drew her against his body. She fit perfectly into him. One of his arms stayed protectively at the small of her back and the other wrapped around her and came up to cradle her head. He stroked it lightly. Leia placed her arms around his neck and drew back a little to stare into the depths of his eyes. Han brought his forehead down to rest against hers and held her gaze. A small smile decorated his face. _"Well, hey, it's gotta be important when her highness uses _please_."

_Leia's eyes lit up and she stretched up on her toes to kiss him again. When she drew back, she pulled him inside. _

_Hours later they lay together immersed in twisted sheets with a feeling of physical satisfaction washing over them. Han watched with a small grin as Leia drifted off to sleep cuddled up to him, her own expression mirroring his._

* * *

I remember Leia being whisked away out of my arms as soon as we left for the morning meeting – by Luke no less. Since Luke already knew about us, I don't remember feelin' any worry—except for the realization that Luke could still take her away from me.

* * *

After boarding our shuttle, we began the descent down to the moon. This journey was gonna decide my fate. This was it. Truth was, I just didn't know if my fate held Leia in it or not.

Well, no surprise here but, I'm Han Solo. I wasn't lettin' her go that easily.


	5. A Twisted Sense of Humor

**A Little Nostalgia Never Hurt Anyone - Chapter 5  
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_  
I don't need nobody__ I don't need the weight of words to find a way to crash on through  
_

"I've got it! I think I've got it!"

* * *

The blast doors slammed shut. Sith. I mentally reprimanded myself for being so careless. See, after livin' on the streets of Corellia and all, I'm basically a pro at hotwirin' stuff. This ain't a prime example, alright? Hold your taun-tauns! And yeah, I know that hotwirin's really not a respectable, general-type of thing to be doin', but I don't wanna let my team down, see, and this is what I'm best at. I think they'll understand.

My attention rapidly shifted from the tangle of wires to Leia as I heard her cry out in pain. I mentally kicked myself again. I got all caught up in the mission and forgot my number one priority: her. I forgot all about the battle raging around us, and crouched in front of her and pushed her against the bunker, but it did little to shield us.

"It's not bad."

"There's my fearless princess," I wanted to say.

"Freeze!" I held her gaze as I heard two storm troopers approach. Thinkin' real smart-like, I managed to hold my tongue too.

Kreth. I've just escaped carbonite only to be killed by blaster fire? This galaxy's got a twisted sense of humor. I looked at Leia, who had a funny look on her face. She quickly showed me the blaster she still carried. The storm troopers couldn't see it because my body was in their line of vision. Genius, I tell you. And I don't just mean me.

"I love you," I admitted. I always had admired her fightin' spirit. This petite woman could wield a blaster, verbally spar, and play Sabaac as well as I could. That's my kind of girl. I intended to tell her those three words for the rest of her (and hopefully my) life, to show her how valuable she was to me.

"I know." There was that quick wit again. I'm guessin' she's been savin' that up ever since I told her the same thing on Bespin. For me, it wasn't more perfect.

I had been afraid to tell her then. I mean, I didn't think I was going to live for more than a few minutes longer, so I couldn't bear to have her know that I loved her, too, in case I never made it back. I didn't want her burdened by that. Luckily, things turned out alright – I think. That short exchange on the bridge the night before struck at my heart once more (my, how poetic of me). I still had no idea if Leia harbored any feelings for Luke beyond friendship, which was all the more reason I needed to tell her that I loved her. She needed to know how much she meant to me. I didn't want her going to Luke _because_ she was unsure of my feelings for her.

I swear she took extra pleasure in the shooting those two troopers._  
_

_ I don't need nobody__  
I just need to learn the depth or doubt of faith to fall into  
_

"Wait. I got an idea."

* * *

One of my more brilliant ones, I kid you not. I had the best feeling inside me after we tricked the unsuspecting Imperials out of the bunker.

The blossoming explosion of the Second Death Star caused my spirits to rise. But when I focused on Leia's dazed expression, my reservations about her and Luke sprang up again. I really didn't want such a happy victory to be tainted by the news of her involvement with Luke, so I decided I had to get this overwith; obviously my love for her wasn't enough. Still, I was glad to know Luke was alright. But how Leia knew, I couldn't say.

"You love him, don't you?"

"Well…yes." Alright, your highness, the least you could do is make it look like it was a hard decision. I tell you, the way she looked at me made my question seem like it had the most obvious answer in the galaxy.

"It's not what you think. He's my brother."

The kiss she pulled me into was more promising than any we had ever shared. Though it was brief, it conveyed more than all of our previous joinings. It erased all my doubts and replaced them with the realization that my fate _did _include Leia. I was glad I had chosen to stay with the rebellion. With _her. _

I decided I could stay forever.

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Please review! I believe I've got one more chapter and an epilogue coming, and then comes the more in-depth editing. Let me know how to make it better!

I'm going away to Chicago until Wednesday, so I'm afraid that, though I can still write the next few parts, I can't post them until then.

In addition, thanks to Zyra M for her help!


	6. Lost in Thought

**A Little Nostalgia Never Hurt Anyone - Chapter 6**

Since this chapter is set post-ROTJ, there are no quotes to preface the setting! Also, it might be a bit mushier than prior chapters…

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_You're all I need  
When the water runs deep  
_

I swear that General Dodonna droned on for two whole timeparts about the Alliance's "next step" to "validate our victory." All I wanted to do was go out and enjoy the celebrations with the Leia, Chewie, Lando, the Rogues, and Luke. (I was seein' the kid in a whole new light now, see, so I didn't have any troubles includin' him in my celebratin'!)

I got called into this meeting directly after the merriment began. I quickly congratulated my friends and some other fighters when I was summoned into a hut for a "quick" generals meeting. If I recall correctly, I had been talking with Leia who said she had something important she wanted to tell me. I'll tell you, this suspense hadn't done anything to settle my nerves.

"Come find me later," she said, giving me a wink.

My eyes were about to burn a third hole in the thin thatch of the Ewok hut when I heard Mon Mothma dismiss the meeting. I scrambled to my feet, felt for my blaster, and started out the tent flap. Lando, who was summoned also (being a general as well), followed me out.

"Thought he'd never shut up."

I chuckled slightly as we started off.

The music was infectious. On each treetop, many humans, humanoids, and Ewoks danced around huge bonfires, their glee evident. As my eyes roamed the nearby circles, I saw orange flight suits all around, but my eyes were searchin' for a huge walking carpet and a darkly-clad boy, but most of all, a beautiful princess.

"There she is." Lando nudged me and pointed out a brown-haired beauty in a salmon colored dress. "Knew you'd be looking for her. You're a lucky man, my friend."

"Yeah." I didn't look at him. I gotta admit, I was mesmerized. She was dancing with Wedge but I could tell she was on the lookout for me too. Coincidentally, she caught sight of me as soon as a song ended. She quickly curtsied politely, turned, and rushed over to where Lando and I stood on the outskirts.

I opened my arms for her and she flew right in. I wrapped her in a tight hug. She lifted her head and our lips met, joining in desperately passionate kiss. Lando excused himself and made his way over to a tall blond to ask for a dance.

When we parted, Leia's shining eyes gazed up into mine. "I was beginning to wonder where you'd gotten off to," she said.

"I know. Ol' Dodders didn't know when to can it."

"Han! He's a very respected and high-ranking—" I cut her off with a kiss.

"—official." As an afterthought, she added, mock-serious, "You know, I was trying to finish a sentence."

"Were you? Sorry, sweetheart. I just missed you is all."

"Sure you did, Solo. I know you thoroughly enjoy those meetings." She took my hand and we walked away from the fire.

"Not as much as I thoroughly enjoy _you._"

Leia blushed. She stopped at the edge of a balcony and started to descend the rope to the forest floor.

"Leia, where are we goin'? Wasn't there something you wanted to speak to me about? Earlier?" Her lower half disappeared under the balcony, and she twisted her head around to see where she was going. She ignored me. I had a feeling something was up, but I didn't want to push her like the night on the bridge.

"You won't want to hear it, Han." She warned.

"I love it when you tell me what I want." Leia glared at me. Okay, bad move. I got it. I walked over to her, grasped her under her arms, and easily lifted her back onto the balcony. We backed up until I stood with my back to the thick tree trunk. "Oh, sweetheart, won't you let me see for myself?" I brushed a finger along her hairline and then ran it down her cheek and neck where it came to rest on her shoulder.

Leia looked up into my eyes and I could see a thin sheen of unshed tears. She quickly blinked them back.

"You'll never speak to me again."

"Leia, where is this coming from?" I was almost pleading now. "Princess, I love you. Trust me with this."

"I don't think I can." Her words cut me like a piece of shrapnel. She couldn't trust me?

"Well, _your worship_," I said menacingly, "What are we doing here, then?" I released her shoulders roughly and went over to the balcony, unconsciously mirroring her previous actions. Trust was the foundation in all relationships. If she couldn't trust me, we had nothing.

"Han, no—I didn't mean—"

"Yeah, you didn't mean to hurt me, whatever. I'm outta here." I stormed off, angry at myself for getting in too deep. This was Bria all over again, except I loved Leia more. _I never should have fallen in love with a princess. Shoulda left when I still could._

I stopped myself, mentally and physically. What was I thinking? Had I already been reduced back to the Han Solo who didn't care about anyone? I should have recognized her actions earlier. I had done the same thing to her for years because I was afraid of loving her and then losing her when I left to face Jabba. I tried to make her hate me so it would be easier to let go. It didn't work for me then because I loved her too much to leave, and now it wasn't any different. Her altruistic motive was the same as mine had been. Now she was doing the same: she was pushing me away. She didn't want me to hurt. Well, I wasn't gonna let her get away with it. I knew her too well.

I knew that the "old" Han Solo couldn't have been such a bad guy even then, 'cause look, I had tried to save someone some pain. My attempts only made it worse, but now I was more determined to make sure Leia was safe and sound and happy. _How could I have left her back there? _

I glanced at my chrono and, seeing the time, kicked the nearest thing to me, which was a wooden post. I had been standing there for twenty minutes? Since when do I leave Leia on a strange planet by herself? More so, since when do I get lost in thought!?

_You're all I need  
Now I cry my soul to sleep_

I hurried back to where I had left her and found her asleep on the wooden floor of the platform. I winced when I saw the tear tracks on her face. Looking more closely, I noticed tears still escaped her closed eyelids. I sat next to her and leaned against the tree trunk. Then I gently pulled her into my lap and let her head fall back onto my shoulder. I was slipping my arms around her abdomen when she tensed and tossed her head to the side with her eyes squeezed shut as if in pain. I held her tighter. This was not the first time I had witnessed one of her nightmares about her internment on the Death Star. She had often woken up screaming on missions and had dismissed them as nothing, but I knew better. I kissed her temple and stroked her hair, murmuring soft, comforting words into her ear. Now I was free to comfort her.

"No, Luke." I listened closely. She spoke barely above a whisper. "No. Not true. He's not."

_Luke?_ Obviously this nightmare was about something else. I strained my ears to hear her next words.

"Bail. Not him. Not him."

_Bail Organa? _

Leia's breathing quickened, and with a moan, her body jerked upward and she gasped. She paused and then fell back against me. I stroked her hair.

"Leia?"

She shifted around so she straddled my waist, and took my face between her hands and said quietly, "I _do _trust you."

"I know, baby. I know." I pulled her head back down to my shoulder and she released a shuddering breath. "I'm sorry."

"Me too, Han. I was just…afraid." Her eyelashes grazed my neck. "How much did you hear?"

"Mmm, you didn't say much. Somethin' about your father, Bail." She tensed when I spoke the word father.

"Now, or never Organa," she whispered to herself, her eyes downcast. "Han, Bail wasn't my father."

"Yeah, you said you were adopted. I remember."

"Well, Luke told me that he discovered the identity of our biological father."

"Sweetheart, that's great! I thought you'd be happy."

"I would be if it was any other way." She paused and lifted her head to look at me. "Obviously you know this is hard for me."

"Obviously." She swatted me. "Alright! Please continue, almighty Leia." She rewarded me with a ghost of a smile.

"He was a hero in his youth. He was a Jedi called Anakin Skywalker. But we know – knew – him by a different name."

She inhaled deeply and spoke two words that shook my whole world: "Darth Vader."

My eyes widened and I tore my gaze from hers. Vader!? Good Gods, her own flesh and blood is responsible for all her pain!? Sith, her _father _put me in carbonite! There was no way. "It can't be." I fumbled for what to say next.

Leia left her perch on my lap and stood up faced away from me. "I knew it." I could tell she was barely succeeding in not breaking down.

If I was having difficulty graspin' this, then I couldn't imagine what she was going through.

I stood up behind her and put my arms around her tiny body. "My, such faith in me you have, your highness." My head came to rest on her shoulder and I nuzzled her neck. "I'm never leaving you. I'm not in love with your father, princess. I'm in love with you."

She turned around in my arms and held me to her tightly in silent gratitude. We stood there for awhile, letting the faint music and the cool breeze envelop us. Gettin' a good idea, I stepped away from her and bowed. Oh, Leia looks so cute when she's confused.

"A dance, your majesty?" I extended my hand.

She took it with a smile two parsecs wide. "It would be my pleasure, General." Her other small hand rested on my shoulder and I placed my arm around the small of her back. We danced to the dying music for a long time. Then I pulled her body flush against mine and bent to kiss her. It was a slow, sweet, exploring touch. Our tongues danced and I slowly lost myself in it. We kissed ourselves into oblivion.

Leia finally pulled away, but we continued our slow, sensual dance. She rested her head on my chest and I pulled her as close to me as possible, placing my cheek to her hair.

"I love you, Han. I love you for understanding. Thank you."

"I love you too, Leia. You know that." I felt her smile from ear to ear.

"I do know that." After a beat, she said, "I'm so happy."

"Me too, princess. Me too."

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The End! Epilogue is still coming, though! Please tell me what you think!


	7. Epilogue

**A Little Nostalgia Never Hurt Anyone - Epilogue**

Just want to preface this by saying I haven't had the chance to read any of the EU books, so if I make any critical errors, please let me know. This chapter is not meant to be canon, but I bet you could fit it in there somewhere.

Also, if it fits your fancy, listen to the song 'Needs' by Collective Soul. I thought it fit this story well!

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_You're all I need  
_

**Ten minutes till we leave hyper.**

"I know, I know, old fuzzball. She's my ship."

**I realize this. I was only making sure you were focusing on the **_**Falcon **_**and not the other woman in your life.**

"Hey, Leia's important to me! And with the twin's bein' born, she's workin' harder than ever. I bet you she's worked herself to death since we've been off on this mission."

**The twins are a handful, but I like having grandcubs. Even if they are smaller than one paw. My cub Lumpy…**

I wasn't listening as Chewie whortled on about Lumpy and how big he was gettin'. We had been on this mission to Kashyyk for six weeks. Chewie and I were supposed to negotiate a trading partnership with the Kashyykians to include them in the New Republic Economy. While we were there, Chewie got to see his family.

The mission was successful, it I do say so myself (And I do say so myself). But it didn't make me miss Leia any less. With our daytime and nighttime hours skewed, we had only managed a few quick comm. calls. The twins had just started saying a few words and during one conversation, Leia had put the comm. near their ears so they could hear my voice. I said a few things to them and Jaina responded with "Da!" Jacen said "Poo." Man, I'm goin' soft.

**Cub?! Cub! You look as though you're on spice. Wipe that foolish grin from your face and help me prepare the landing.**

"Yeah." Chewie went back to the controls.

"_Millennium Falcon _requesting clearance. This is Captain Han Solo speaking…"

_You're all I need_

When the ramp was down, Chewie and I unloaded our bags into the waiting hovercart to be delivered to our Coruscant loft on the Upper Levels. We took an elevator down from the landing pad and onto Coruscant. The lift stopped at our designated level and we stepped off.

**I wonder what is for dinner.**

"Hopefully nothin' Leia's cooked."

Chewie whuffled softly to himself.

The shuttle ride to the nearest stop to our apartment wasn't very long, but we did have to take a long speeder ride to get to our building. I was so tired; all I was interested in was a quiet night at home with Leia and the kids. I thought for once I'd let Chewie drive my speeder. The shuttle jerked me back to my senses and we squeezed out between other passengers.

**Would you like me to carry you?**

"Aw, can it, Chewie."

We got into the speeder and I inputted the location of our apartment and set the controls to autopilot.

**Never thought I'd see the day, cub.**

"Me either, pal. I'm just so Godsbedamned tired."

**I know what you mean. I bet you miss the little princess.**

"I do." I loved how well Chewie and Leia got along. Chewie's nickname of "little princess" could only be applied to her by him. If I ever called her little, she'd go off on me. It was still cute, though.

As we drove by one of Leia's favorite dress shops, I saw the unmistakeable white gown and double-seated hover-stroller exiting the shop with several large bags. Exhibiting a rather dangerous maneuver, I took the speeder out of autopilot, pulled it over and parked quickly. Leia was already pushing the hover-stroller down the street towards the next shop, located right in front of our parking space. When one of the twins started crying, Leia set the bags down and walked to the front of the stroller to pick up the wailing baby. She tried to move farther without much success. Ignoring Chewie's protests, I got out of the speeder and walked around to the sidewalk and casually leant on one of the speeder doors, watching her.

Leia's hair was reminiscent of the Battle of Endor, but she was not dressed in military fatigues today. She was in her senatorial gown, and though it wasn't my favorite dress, she was still the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

Just as she was passing us, I spoke in a backwater accent. "Hey, little lady. Ya need a lil' help with them things?"

Leia was setting the baby down in the stroller. With her head still down, she spoke. "Thank you, but I'll be just fine, sir."

"Ya sure? Ya look a lil' tard out. I think ya could use summone like me."

Her head snapped up at that. Her expression meant business. Oh, I loved teasing this woman. "Look, I said—" She stopped short. My grin grew into a full-fledged smile and I levered myself off the speeder door and walked over to her.

"Hey, little lady," I said softly, mimicking my earlier affected accent.

"Han Solo! You scoundrel!" Knowing she didn't want to walk away from the twins' hover-stroller, I closed the distance between us and enveloped her in a tight hug. I could tell she wanted to push me away and let me have it for tricking her, but then again, it had been six weeks.

Finally, I stepped away to greet the twins. I picked Jacen up and Leia took Jaina. Our family was together again.

"Look atcha! You've gotten so big!" I tickled Jacen lightly, and he laughed and wriggled a little. "Hey, who missed Daddy?" Neither of the twins reacted.

"They did miss you, Han. Mommy missed you too." Leia set Jaina down and I did the same with Jacen.

"I missed you too, Leia." Leia leaned into me and kissed me long and hard. Her hands came up around my neck and I lightly held her hips. This kiss conveyed all of our pent-up emotion we'd been dying to express to each other for weeks. We broke apart after a few moments and I sighed contentedly. "What have you been doing shopping? Finally took a day off?"

"For your information, flyboy, I _have_ taken the _entire _day off. I was picking out a new dress for dinner tonight."

"Dinner tonight? Leia…"

"Relax." She put a comforting hand to my cheek. "It's just us."

"I like the sound of that." I released her and pushed the stroller over to the parking space. "Come on; let me give you a lift home. That is, if Chewie hasn't taken off yet." We walked back to the speeder and secured the twins into their car seats the back. I opened Leia's door for her and made my way around to the driver's side. This time I drove on manual.

"Hey, Chewie, I hope you don't have any plans tonight…"

_You're all I need_

I knew Jaina and Jacen were left in good hands with Luke and Chewie at Luke's place. When we finally arrived home, I immediately pulled Leia into bed with me.

"Han! We're going to be late!" She exclaimed, pushing my climbing hands away from her body and jumping out from under the sheets.

"Leia!" I groaned. I rolled over and put my face into a pillow. "I don't wanna go to no fancy place for dinner! I just got home and I want to be with you!"

"Han, please?" I didn't look at her. Ain't no way her feminine charms are workin' on me this time.

"Please?" When I still didn't look at her, she added, "You know, I didn't _just _buy dresses today." She proceeded to pull out one of my now-favorite nightgowns of hers. "Do you like it?"

"Hmm. I seem to have found an incentive for this dinner after all."

**THE END.**

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Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think!


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